....om....

I bear the sanskrit symbol, Om, around my neck with quasi-confidence. I know that it helps me; it helps me define my beliefs. But sometimes it feels like I can't explain to the curious exactly what it means. Instead, then, I try to explain exactly what it means to me. And even that is a challenge.

How do you put your heart, your spirit, your soul into words? How do you slap a name or a label on something so integral to your nature? Putting anything--individuality, relationships, emotions, beliefs, dreams, desires--so neatly and precisely into boxes of cognizance is an insult to its complexity. It is an insult to its very existence.

And yet the thing that makes us so uniquely human is our capacity and inclination to communicate the impossible. As the young boy is told that he is "too small, too slow" to keep up and follows along anyway, we are drawn to a challenge. I too am inclined to try and claim my aptitude. I want to at least begin to verbalize that evanescent stuff beneath my skin. Maybe then I can confidently move about with body, mind, and soul coexisting peacefully. Maybe then I can feel truly...me.

Here are some brief (if trite) definitions from the oh-so-wise-and-convenient Web:

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Om –noun - Hinduism.
A mantric word thought to be a complete expression of Brahman and interpreted as having three sounds representing Brahma or creation, Vishnu or preservation, and Siva or destruction, or as consisting of the same three sounds, representing waking, dreams, and deep sleep, along with the following silence, which is fulfillment.

Om - Skt.,=yes, so be it - for Hindus and Buddhists, a mystic word or mantra. Om is regarded as the syllable of the supreme Reality and is sometimes called "the mother of mantras." It is often found at the beginning of prayers, mantras, and scriptures as a word of invocation and adoration. In Hinduism its three Sanskrit phonemes (transliterated a, u, and m) symbolize the triad of Brahma the creator, Vishnu the preserver, and Shiva the destroyer, or the three levels of consciousness: waking, dreaming, and deep sleep. In Buddhism it is often understood as symbolizing the true "empty" character of reality, as that truth has been communicated by various historical Buddhas, celestial Buddhas, and, directly, by the true character of reality itself (see sunyata).

* Creation (Brahma)- Preservation (Vishnu)- Destruction (Shiva) into Brahman
* Waking- Dreaming- Dreamless Sleep into Turiya (transcendental fourth state of consciousness)
* Rajas (activity, heat, fire) - Tamas (dullness, ignorance, darkness) - Sattva (purity, light, serenity/shanti) into Brahman
* Body, Speech and Mind into Oneness
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I like this idea of threes, of using the combination of opposite forces to find a fourth and higher force. It is a paradox. And in paradoxes, especially lately, I find more clarity than confusion. There is rarely a right or wrong, a black or white, a yes or no, a "my way" or the "highway." Things don't work that way. Change those conjunctions from the restrictive "or" to the inclusive "and"; then, maybe, we're getting closer to the truth.

Amidst mass chaos, violence, destruction, and confusion, there is still peace. Each person has it within them to find their own serenity, their own strength. By whittling down all the complications in life to a deep, cleansing breath--to a silent mantra, Om--I find moments of silence, of clarity. I know I am not enlightened. I know I am not perfect. I know I have a lot of growing to do: personally, emotionally, and spiritually. But I also know that with a point of entrance into the vast ocean of existence, I can navigate confidently through my life.

Om does this for me and wearing the symbol around my neck is a reminder: all human beings have the same guiding light inside. We are all connected in this way, and instead of waving our flags of religious extremism, of patriotism, of terrorism, of any other -ism, we should take a moment to recognize this bond.

Humanity. We are a family--dysfunctional, yes--but a family nonetheless.