or maybe i'm just worried about me.

i've been incubating...

... and now it's time to spill.

I'm utterly frustrated with myself and us and this THING we are doing, whatever it is. I thought we were all interested and I thought we were all going to go for it... but for some reason I'm not really believing it this time. Maybe it was the last visit; it seemed strange. I don't know if things have changed with anyone else, but I still want to attempt this.

I want to build a life around art, creation, and family.

But I'm terrified. I'm scared we're all going to get settled in our own lives and leave this to wither away. I don't want to get stuck in something I think I should be doing and never do what I've envisioned. Even if it fails. If it falls on it's ass, so what. At least we will have tried.

Though I'm not convinced we're even going to do that anymore. And it makes my stomach churn.

Talking the big talk is a bug I think we've caught. Please, please, somebody tell me I'm wrong.

Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even
complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, extremely generous, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

sometimes i'm amazed at how accurate these silly little astrological-type evaluations can be. good and bad, this is me.

no apologies.