... and now it's time to spill.
I'm utterly frustrated with myself and us and this THING we are doing, whatever it is. I thought we were all interested and I thought we were all going to go for it... but for some reason I'm not really believing it this time. Maybe it was the last visit; it seemed strange. I don't know if things have changed with anyone else, but I still want to attempt this.
I want to build a life around art, creation, and family.
But I'm terrified. I'm scared we're all going to get settled in our own lives and leave this to wither away. I don't want to get stuck in something I think I should be doing and never do what I've envisioned. Even if it fails. If it falls on it's ass, so what. At least we will have tried.
Though I'm not convinced we're even going to do that anymore. And it makes my stomach churn.
Talking the big talk is a bug I think we've caught. Please, please, somebody tell me I'm wrong.
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